Are you feeling low energy, anxious, resentful, or overwhelmed despite the “magical” full moon eclipse? I’m typing this while cuddled in bed feeling physical pain and a foggy, gloomy state of mind. If you’re feeling like this too, I want you to know you’re not alone.

AND, it doesn’t mean your positivity, spiritual practice, and wise woman power are all f*cked up either.

The massive astrological alignments and 5D ascension shifts mean we are “jumping up a level” but why doesn’t it feel good? Especially when there are so many people posting blissful elation and joy, you may be judging yourself for feeling low… I know I’m struggling with that right now.

The truth is, with so many souls waking up in the world right now, we may be feeling the weight of what we have yet to process, compounded by the confusion, frustration and chaos the newly awakened are feeling right now. Self love and radical self care are ESSENTIAL right now, especially honoring and acknowledging our needs for rest, reflection and healing. This is especially true for those of us who are committed to leadership in spirituality. Our old spiritual practices may no longer suit us or feel comforting. Right now my greatest comfort is to alternate crying, screaming, and cuddles with fluffy pillows and giving myself copious amounts of Reiki as my body and energy fields recalibrate.

Cleansing is not a glamorous process. It is not the stuff of viral videos and epic insta posts. It IS a process of deep self awareness, and accepting of the shadow side (how appropriate during a full moon eclipse time, right?!). Right now, in my shadow side, I hate meditating. Silence grates my nerves, and I don’t really want to retrain my brain or my emotions with guided hypnosis or EFT or any of my usual tools. I feel angry that after all the healing and clearing I’ve done, there is still more to clear, and I want nothing more than to just go about the business of being a normal human.

And I am PROUD to be a human. I’ve never stated that out loud and publicly before. There was stigma in it before. I wouldn’t be spiritual enough, wise enough, a good enough teacher if I didn’t want to walk my spiritual walk all the damn time.

But the truth is, to be human is truly divine! These magnificent feelings in my heart and in my body are divine. I am so vibrantly aware of them in this moment, and I am honoring each one as a precious jewel of life… Especially the ones that hurt. They are teaching me in a sensational way how to feel more deeply, how to be more aware and present in every moment, and how vividly I can experience.
I am birthing a more radiantly vibrating awareness of my physical self, that is big enough to allow more of my Soul and Spirit to live in my body. I am growing, I am expanding, and sometimes it feels like shit.

I am grateful. I am loving all of myself. I am reveling in the darkness, in the discomfort. I am expectantly awaiting the crowning moment as I burst forth renewed. And I am sharing this raw, honest experience with you in the hopes than someone else feeling stuck in the darkness can see and feel the light, the love that is expanding and growing within… So you don’t feel so alone in this ugly, uncomfortable, gloriously human part of ascension.

Because most people won’t talk about it out loud. Silence and secrets around the struggle to embody our Souls in human form only demonizes this tender birth.

Judgment of what is in the moment makes monsters out of the shadows and draws our eyes further from the Light. Embrace yourself, my love. Lay your hands tenderly on your body and love yourself in your most fragile form. Allow yourself time and space as your vibrations rise to new highta, for it may feel like an electrocution of epic proportions.

The “ugly” is merely a perception that needs love and acceptance to be seen as beautiful. Like a wrinkly newborn adjusting to a new world, we must wrap ourselves in blankets of acceptance, cuddle ourselves with adoration, and close our eyes to rest while we acclimate to the bright New Earth.

We who feel this now are the teachers by example for those who are awakening so rapidly they cannot comprehend it yet mentally. Our tenderness to the ugliness we are feeling is sensed and gives permission to the world to love and cuddle ourselves in this newness.

We are the bringers of Light, and we must embrace the dark for our Light to be fully known.

Tips for Self Care:

1. Be with the “ugly.” Honor all feelings.
2. Breathe. All is well.
3. Place your hands on your body and give yourself Love.
4. Drink hot tea and cuddle with pillows. Or puppies. Or both.
5. Share with a trusted friend how you’re feeling. Honesty and transparency are healing.
6. Give up the illusion of polished perfection. Life is perfect in all its forms and bringing Light into the darkness of illusion is a most glorious experience.
7. Be brave. Ask for love. You WILL be answered.
8. Share what you learned with others. You never know who needs to hear this right now.