| It Takes More Willpower
…relax than to remain stressed. …be happy than to be depressed. …do great work than to get stuff done. …connect with your purpose than to keep doing what you always do. …make a wise decision than to make a decision anyway. Sarah McCrum
Coach, Speaker, Author |
As a professor of sociology and criminology, I seek to understand genocide, ranging from why it begins to how societies mend in the aftermath.
I actually became motivated to understand genocide in a classroom. My public health and human rights class had invited a guest speaker on genocide. As I sat in my seat, I was shocked when the speaker discussed genocides I had never even heard of, like the violence that occurred in Guatemala or in Bosnia. I could not believe that genocide kept happening, and I hoped that I could one day understand why.
Bosnian Genocide Cemetery
Years later, I found myself sitting on a hillside in Valentina’s home country of Rwanda. I went there to conduct research, and that afternoon, I interviewed a 50-year-old man named Jean-Paul. Jean-Paul had been convicted of committing genocide and was sentenced to the community service center where I visited him.
You see, unlike Valentina, Jean-Paul was considered a Hutu—the majority group—in 1994 Rwanda. When the genocide started, he was a working-class farmer, with a wife and four children. He had no criminal background and no history of violent behavior. Yet, as the violence escalated, local leaders convinced him that Tutsis were dangerous and could hurt his family. Determined to keep this from happening, Jean-Paul joined a militia hunting Tutsis.
Jean-Paul’s actions were motivated, in large part, by fear—fear that Tutsis could hurt his family. His murderous actions also arose from an us/them mentality Jean-Paul had been taught from a very young age. In primary school, he had learned that Hutus and Tutsis were fundamentally different groups of people. In reality, Hutus and Tutsis were what sociologists call socially-constructed groups. This means that there was no natural difference between them—just like any race or ethnicity. But, as we all know, social constructions can seem very real.
Talking with Jean-Paul that afternoon, I found it really hard to imagine that he had killed two people during the genocide. He smiled and laughed throughout much of our conversation. He also told me about his grandchildren and shared that he could not wait to see them when he was done with his sentence—reminding me that people who commit genocide are not fundamentally evil, but are rather normal people who do extraordinarily harmful things when faced with certain situations.
Understanding the social situation thus becomes very important for understanding genocide.
For instance, Jean-Paul’s fear was partially influenced by a civil war between Hutus and Tutsis just a few years before the genocide. The civil war had brought much instability to Rwanda, and with it, much fear. Jean-Paul’s notion that Hutus and Tutsis were fundamentally different was also widespread. Government leaders and political elites had manipulated people into believing it, often using radio stations and magazines to declare that Tutsis—like Valentina—were not human. The leaders said that Tutsis were dangerous cockroaches who needed to be exterminated. This thinking benefited these leaders, who perceived Tutsis as a threat to their power.
Many of these same factors actually influence genocide worldwide. I studied all genocides that have taken place since the Holocaust, and identified the risk factors present before each genocide. For instance, a civil war is the strongest risk factor for a subsequent genocide, just like the civil war in Rwanda. Exclusionary, racist ideologies that influence us/them thinking—like the thinking that distinguished between Hutus and Tutsis—often precede genocide as well. Genocide also becomes more likely when government leaders feel threated—often by other groups attempting to take their power—and when these leaders have unrestrained power to choose genocide against that perceived threat.
This means that we know a great deal about why genocide happens, bringing us further toward eradicating genocide and bringing us to the last step—how to respond.
The Baha’i teachings say that we can eradicate genocide, racism and war—if we can unite:
The unity which is productive of unlimited results is first a unity of mankind which recognizes that all are sheltered beneath the overshadowing glory of the All-Glorious, that all are servants of one God; for all breathe the same atmosphere, live upon the same earth, move beneath the same heavens, receive effulgence from the same sun and are under the protection of one God. This is the most great unity, and its results are lasting if humanity adheres to it; but mankind has hitherto violated it, adhering to sectarian or other limited unities such as racial, patriotic or unity of self-interests; therefore, no great results have been forthcoming. – Abdu’l-Baha, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 191.
The Universal Declaration of Human Rights, the Convention on the Prevention and Punishment of the Crime of Genocide, and the similar measures concerned with eliminating all forms of discrimination based on race, sex or religious belief; upholding the rights of the child; protecting all persons against being subjected to torture; eradicating hunger and malnutrition; using scientific and technological progress in the interest of peace and the benefit of mankind — all such measures, if courageously enforced and expanded, will advance the day when the spectre of war will have lost its power to dominate international relations. – The Universal House of Justice, 1985 Oct, The Promise of World Peace, p. 3.
Our unity, Baha’is believe, is the chief prerequisite for reducing the world’s genocidal violence.
This essay came from a TED talk given by Hollie Nyseth Brehm which can be watchedhere.
Next: The Human Family, Responding to Genocide
4 Qualities Baha’u’llah Loved to See
by Peter Gyulay
Baha’u’llah is said to have often remarked:
There are four qualities which I love to see manifested in people: first, enthusiasm and courage; second, a face wreathed in smiles and a radiant countenance; third, that they see with their own eyes and not through the eyes of others; fourth, the ability to carry a task once begun, through to its end.1
There are so many virtues that we are called to develop, so why did Baha’u’llah single out these four qualities? Here are my thoughts:
It is not enough to believe in God: we must act on our belief in God. It is not enough to simply act, but we must act enthusiastically. If we recognise the miracle of being alive at the dawn of the promised time of all ages, then we will be extremely enthusiastic about our role in the establishment of the Most Great Peace. And in this endeavour we must have total courage. We must do whatever it takes to live up to the teachings of Baha’u’llah. We can see this enthusiasm in Baha’is such as Rahmatu’llah Muhajir, who devoted his life to spreading the message of Baha’u’llah with passion. We can see this courage in the martyrs of the Faith like Mona Mahmudnizhad, who died for her religion instead of recanting it. This same courage is needed when sharing the message at times and in places where the Baha’is are discriminated against. I can remember when I became a Baha’i. I was so excited to have received the news that a new Messenger of God had come and brought the teachings needed to transform the world. I was filled with an electric eagerness to share this message with others. And I was a lot more audacious than I am now.
The fact that Baha’u’llah liked to see people radiant shows that being happy is very important. Living a spiritual life is not a sombre thing. Even when Baha’u’llah calls on us to recognise the transient nature of life, we should not be saddened. Devoting ourselves to a spiritual path requires a type of seriousness. But this doesn’t mean that we should become puritans who become obsessed with living a perfect life, and judge people who don’t. We also do not live as ascetics who inflict pain on themselves. Not only should we be joyous, but we should also share our joy with others – just as the sun shares its heat and light. Humour is another attribute that is linked to radiance because it makes people feel joyous. Both Baha’u’llah and Abdul-Baha had a great sense of humour.
Seeing things with our own eyes means that we investigate reality for ourselves instead of just blindly following other people. When we investigate the truth we need to use justice. Baha’u’llah says,
By its aid thou shalt see with thine own eyes and not through the eyes of others, and shalt know of thine own knowledge and not through the knowledge of thy neighbour.2
Abdul-Baha explains what this means:
[…] no man should blindly follow his ancestors and forefathers. Nay, each must see with his own eyes, hear with his own ears and investigate the truth himself in order that he may follow the truth instead of blind acquiescence and imitation of ancestral beliefs.3
This helps prevent negative practices from taking root in culture and becoming fixed traditions. Because we can think for ourselves, we won’t yield to peer pressure or repeat the mistakes of our forefathers.
Carrying a task to its end is important in so many areas of life, both at work and at home. It requires determination, resilience and commitment. The ability to finish what we start is required in order to achieve goals and live a life devoted to a higher purpose. If we do not finish things, we get nowhere – our lives plateau because we end up doing the things that take the least effort, or the things we normally do. It is especially important to complete things that we have promised other people we will do because this develops trust between people and in turn, builds unity.
What strikes me about these four qualities is that they are all very active. This shows that the Bahai Faith is very much about action. Yes, we need other virtues like acceptance, acquiescence and humility. But these must be combined with the virtues that enable us to engage with the world with the intention of improving it. When I think of these qualities, I see the image of a vibrant person who is full of energy. This person has a positive outlook and is not afraid to have a go at things. They step out of their comfort zone and make things happen. And when they start a project they put themself fully into it, until the project is completed. This is not work for them: this is passion.
In contrast to these positive qualities, Abu’l-Qasim Faizi tells us Baha’u’llah also felt sad about the following five negative qualities:
We can see here that the key word in all the five sentences is pride. The person described above, who is living a joyous, devoted and active life, in no way distinguishes themselves from other people. They are humble and unaware of their accomplishments. So for us who are striving to live this type of life we have to aim to be enthusiastic, courageous, radiant, independent and dedicated. When we recognise that we are making progress we cannot fall into the trap of feeling overly proud of ourselves. Because our attention is becoming more and more focused on helping others, we will have no time for ego-tripping.
http://bahaiblog.net
The universe can be a funny place sometimes. I’ve been doing a lot of research about a form of mental abuse that a lot of us are not only susceptible to, but actually deal with every single day. It is one of those things that we don’t even realize is happening to us, we just see the results: self-doubt, diminished self-esteem, and reduced self-worth. The world has a way of beating even the best of us down from time to time but this specific form of manipulation is one that can be identified and removed from our day-to-day existence.
Buy an “Intelligence is sexy” t-shirt!
Back in 1938, there was a play called “Gas Light” that was later adapted into a movie in 1944. In the story, a husband works diligently to convince his wife and their acquaintances that she is insane by making very small and subtle changes to their environment. When the wife would point out the changes, the husband convinced her that she was wrong about the changes and that she was crazy. Slowly but surely, the wife starts to give in to the self-doubt created by those subtle changes, namely a gas lamp that the husband keeps dimming, hence the term “gaslighting”.
The Science of Hypnosis
In the play, the key was the husband’s ability to alter the wife’s perception of reality. She saw the lamp as being dimmer and the husband assures her that it is not. He made he doubt her perception, and therefore her reality. It is a form of mental abuse that people too often don’t even realize what is happening to them. For the perpetrator, the ability to control the victim’s own perceptions of themselves and the things around them allows them to control the victim themselves. In reality, it happens every single day. It’s all around us. How many advertisements do you see that claim that using their product will somehow enhance your life? That’s a mild form of gaslighting. You are made to think that some aspect of you or your life is incomplete. You are made to DOUBT yourself. Further, you are made to think that whatever product is being peddled is the solution to what is supposedly lacking in your life.
The specific situation that inspired this article involved one of the most beautiful and amazing women I have ever known dealing with a break up from a man that never deserved to be with her in the first place. I explained to her that there are people in our lives who will try to break us down to be on their level . So, what is the answer to gaslighting?
MAINTAINING YOUR OWN REALITY THROUGH YOUR OWN PERCEPTIONS.
I’ll tell you now, the same thing I told her:
You see, my friend, there are people in this world who will look at a unicorn and think to themselves, “woah, that is a unicorn, which is something I will never be.” They will try to convince you, the unicorn, that you are just an average horse like them with a weird growth on your head that you should probably get checked out by some kind of medical professional that deals with head growths. They will try to steal your magic and make you as dull and ordinary as the plain, old horses that they are. Because they need you to be a plain, old horse like they are, just to bring you down to their level…
The Secrets Behind The Science Of Persuasion
As we’ve established: you are not just a plain,old horse. You are not a fast race horse. You aren’t even one of those fancy British horses that those chicks in those hot pant/knee-high boot getups use to jump over stuff…
